Ramblings #1 : Looking Back to this Year

They say, being reflective gives you a deep insight. Well, I try it and here's the result.

- #1 -

[July, 2017] I went to the new class with mixed feelings. Excitement, yes, of course. Nervous, didn't forget that too. Confusion, this too. There were many things I wondered and thought before coming into terms with the reality. Maybe, I still wanted to be a freshman in the first year--no hard tasks in schools nor organizations. Yet, I couldn't hold myself to enter the super-exciting (and exhausting) year.

I did have some stigma about some people in the new class. For example, person A was known as a troublemaker so I "distanced" myself a bit. Just like how false rumors were going to go, I found out that A was not that bad--I even became a good friend towards that person.  

So, don't judge others before knowing them. Rumors don't define people, actions do.

[August, 2017] It was a hectic time filled with organizations' activities. While having to adapt with new courses in school, organizations were having a hard time due to transition of position. The seniors gave their jobs to us second years with the purpose of continuing the organizations. Actually, it wasn't that surprising, considering they (third years) had already informed about this. In reality, the hectic part came when we were making agenda about all the events in this year, including who would lead each event.

As time went on, I got some tips about organizations and events. A senior said, "do it casually without any feelings, relax and the event will pass successfully." I agree, it was a great advice. Then, there was also this, "balance your school and your activities--don't make it too heavy on one side because you will feel overwhelmed." This, too, is also a good advice from the same person. Hope you are going to have a great future, senior :)

[December, 2017] The exams were held and there was only a problem. A big event was going to be held also at this time. Whenever I thought about the exams, the event would surely come to mind. When I thought about the latter, the former would also come out to remind me about the upcoming week. It was tiring, I admit. Preparing for the exams were hard since the courses had become more difficult. Our teacher also asked (red: bothered) us about this every day. In addition to those, the helps from schools didn't even ease our worry.

With all those incomplete preparations, it was a surprising predicament to see and feel that the event was held well. No big casualties, only a handful of minor troubles which were easily taken care of. With this event, I got a new experience. I didn't know if that was handling many people at once, leading a group, coordinating with others, or all of that. 

I was told that I used a lot of sarcasm and I got a lot of comments about my choice of words. With those comments, I hoped I could be open to comments and thoughts and also being more considerate with my words.

[January, 2018] A new year. At this time, I decided to pursue another path. Well, not a real path, but actually a life-changing choice. Last year, I competed in a mathematics competition in my city. I did continue to the next part, but it was short-lived. After that, my teacher urged me to try a new field instead of mathematics--that being said is chemistry. My teacher told me that I should go and try chemistry in the competition this year.

Learning it, at first, was not hard. The hard part was prioritizing the time used for school, events, and competitions. The courses in last semester was, again, more difficult than before. With integrals in math, optics in physics, neurons and hormones in biology, and others were very challenging (and I realized that my third year would be more difficult than this). My organization also held another big event in February. Yes, February, which was (un)fortunately near the time of competition.

[February, 2018] This month was a very demanding month. Going to school in holiday to coordinate and plan the event while also studying advanced level of chemistry solely for competition was exhausting. Not to mention, it was the time of midterm exams, so I was relieved when each events passed well.

I learned about how precious time was and how prioritizing the time bring benefits.

[March and April, 2018] The result of the competition came. My two other friends and I passed it and "left" school for three days. Those three days, we learned (red: being crammed by) many new information about chemistry. Those information include, but not limited to the organic part with feelings (yes, you needed feelings), physics part with many equations, and other parts which was as important as the former two. The surprising part was, we three passed the next part (I was grateful for this as I hadn't made any new friends during the three days of school absence).

Before I forgot, I didn't go to school often at this time. First, it was due to the seniors having their final school and national exams. Because of this, my friends and I went to a study tour (red: vacation) to Bali. Second, as the representatives for my school, my two friends and I left school again for a total of ten days to learn chemistry (again). I couldn't say I didn't get any benefits because I had learned more--just that I had left schools for approximately a month and I knew I have to catch up to the tasks and newest courses in school.  

At this tough time of the year, I discovered firsthand how rest can uplift and relax the mind from all the stress.

[May and June, 2018] I remembered May as the time when the next result was announced. I was glad  and grateful, that I could continue to the national part. At this time too, the final exams were held. I was somewhat distraught about the final exams. They include all courses from the semester and I didn't prepare that well because of the competition. I prayed the result would be good.

At the end of the exam, I went to Bandung to learn more about chem. I was nervous when I left my city. Staying in another city to learn something was a new experience. In my sixteen years old life, I haven't gone or even studied intensively in another place--always at school or in my city. Fortunately, I made new friends there and even experienced my first practical training. It was fun and exhausting, also the problems I learned there weren't that hard.

Fast-forward in June, I stayed in a school for two weeks to learn chem again. I couldn't express myself more easily, even after I stayed for more than a week. I felt much more comfortable in Bandung rather than in Jakarta--and I didn't even know why. In this place also, nearing the day of competition, I was having a breakdown. Maybe, I was unnerved with all of the theoretical and practical problems or I was just missing my family at home or even both.  

In any cases though, I am forever appreciative for my parents who always comfort me and cheer me up every day.

[July, 2018] This month was the part where I had my life-changing experience. I couldn't say anymore, but the achievement I got had made me contemplate a lot about my life. Well, maybe in the future I would write about it. Regardless, the moment I decided to write, I opened something I had hidden from eyes.

- #1 -

The days have passed and I am writing this at the moment. Yes, this year has been a life-changing year for me. In the future, I maybe have to go to other countries to participate in a competition, or I may teach my juniors. With this final lesson, I conclude my writings.

Always do your best and learn more. Remember your Lord often, be thankful and appreciative, and be patient in every situation. So that your heart will be calm, your future will be bright,  and your faith will last.